How Burt Hummel Discovered His Creative Side
by particularly good finder
Summary: ...at the expense of Kurt and Finn - The signs were there. Burt just didn't have the imagination to realize it -


**Written for the prompt from MorganD. Sorry for the length, hope you like. Please review!**

Burt Hummel was many things, but creative wasn't one of them.

Kurt inherited every last musical and artistic bone in his body from his late mother, Katherine, a fact that was not lost on either Hummel men. Kurt was the dreamer. Burt was the doer.

So when one of the mechanics in his shop, Jim, questioned Burt's judgment for allowing his gay son to room with another (admittedly attractive) boy, Burt did not catch his meaning. He told Jim to mind his own business, and was grumpy for the rest of the day, but not once did it cross his mind that Jim could be _right_.

As stated before, Burt Hummel did not posses the creativity to even _imagine_ that Finn, too, might not be as straight as previously believed.

After "The Room Incident," as Kurt had taken to calling it, the two boys seemed closer than ever. Burt assumed there had been some heart-to-heart talk involved the night Finn was allowed back in the house, but that was it. They spoke their minds, forgave each other, and went to bed. That was how things worked in Burt Hummel's mind.

So, yeah, he noticed that the boys started staying up later, laughing loudly in their basement bedroom at inappropriate hours, but that was good, right? That meant they were becoming friends, right? And maybe he caught them holding hands once or twice. Finn was always hugging and touching people, and Kurt was, well, _gay_. It wasn't that weird.

And, _sure_, they stared at each other at dinner in an almost creepy manner. And they _did_ blush a lot when they realized Burt and Carole had noticed. _And_ they did have a bad habit of falling asleep in compromising positions on the couch when watching movies. But they were young and good friends and, like he said, they were all touchy-feely and a new generation of guy and it wasn't that weird.

So, maybe if Burt had his son's creativity, he would have seen it coming. Or, at least, he wouldn't have been _surprised_. But he didn't, and he was.

It was midnight on a Friday. In his day, Burt would have been out on a date with a pretty cheerleader, or causing trouble with his football buddies. But apparently kids were too wrapped up with FaceSpace or MyBook or homework or _Jersey Shore_ or whatever to go out. At least, that was the bullshit excuse Kurt tried to use when he informed his father that he had cancelled his sleepover with Mercedes, Brittany, and Quinn.

"I'm just really tired, Dad. And I have a paper for English I need to start tonight. You and Carole have a good time."

Finn, apparently, was part of this bullshit parade.

"Um, yeah, Mr. H, I'm just gonna chill here tonight. The guys are going mudding, and I'm just not in the mood. It's all good, I'll just stay and keep Kurt company."

Burt had just eyed them both and made some comment about limiting the booze and cleaning up the mess from their obvious "secret party." The boys laughed nervously, and Burt left with Carole before he felt too suspicious.

They got home late, and instead of waking the boys up, they just went to bed. At least, Carole did. But Burt had a headache, and the kitchen medicine box was sadly devoid of Advil. Instead of sucking it up and heading back to bed, Burt stumbled blindly down the stairs to the basement, to rummage through Kurt's personal medication collection.

As he reached the bottom step, he felt a strange object on the bottom of his bare foot.

_What the hell are a bunch of rose petals doing on my son's floor?…I will never understand that boy_.

He felt his way to the desk, where a bottle of Advil sat neatly on the edge. Grabbing it, Burt turned to head back, noticing that Finn's bed was empty.

_I'll bet he _did _sneak out, and Kurt was just covering! Sneaky little bastards. Think I never snuck out as a kid. Think I never tried the same-_

His internal monologue was cut off short by the sight that met him as his eyes traveled to Kurt's bed. There, barely covered by his son's once-white sheets, lay two naked boys, curled together sweetly.

_So Finn snuck out…and Kurt's secret boyfriend snuck in! _

Burt felt the color draining from his face as he tried to deal with the dilemma in front of him. Did he wake up the sleeping boys and potentially ruin the only relationship Kurt was likely to have in high school? Or did he let them sleep and pretend he never saw Mysterious Boyfriend.

He decided on the latter, seeing as he was tired and had a headache, and really, Kurt was mature and had good taste. He would meet this boy eventually, and _then_, officially, he could scare the shit out him (while he was fully clothed, too).

But as he reached the stairs, he looked again at Kurt's bed, and nearly fainted then and there.

Mystery Boyfriend was _Finn_.

Finn.

Finn Hudson.

Finn Hudson was in Kurt's bed.

Naked.

"KURT HUMMEL, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

Both boys woke with a start, turning a bright red color visible even in the dark. They wiggled apart, wrapping parts of the sheets around them as best they could.

"Dad! You're home! Oh, dear…"

That night (forever referred to by Kurt as "The Awkward Incident") was unpleasant, to say the least, but Finn _was_ allowed to stay in the house (but not downstairs; that's why God created couches). The parents got over the incestual aspect of the relationship pretty quickly, and worried more about the fact that the hormone-driven teenage lovers lived under the same roof. Rules were put into place, "talks" were given, and punishments were handed out.

But the worst part for Burt Hummel was the fact that he did not see it coming. Carole later admitted to having her suspicions, but kept quiet incase it made things awkward for the roommates. How Burt had missed the signs was a mystery to all.

But now that Burt Hummel knew about his son's first boyfriend, the imagination he never knew seemed to spring to life. Sitting Finn down, Burt cleared his throat awkwardly, carefully choosing his words.

"Now, Finn, Kurt is my son. My _only_ son. And if you do _anything_ to Kurt, _anything_ at _all_…well, I have a forty-five and a shovel, and really, I don't think anyone will miss you all that much…"

Yes, Burt Hummel finally found his creative side.


End file.
